I’m sure that we all know what infidelity is, but did you know there is such a thing as financial infidelity? I was shocked to find out that what my husband and I were doing to one another actually had a name. I will be the first to say that at one point in my marriage, I was guilty of committing this horrendous offense.
Wikipedia defines Financial Infidelity as the secretive act of spending money, possessing credit and credit cards, holding secret accounts or stashes of money, borrowing money, or otherwise incurring debt unknown or unwilling to one’s spouse, partner, or significant other.
Often time’s we don’t really think that a small purchase or a small secret stash of money is hurting anything or anyone, but it does. My vice was and still is shoes. I would buy a pair of shoes and hide them in the trunk of my car until I wanted to wear them. I would sneak them in the house and then hide them in the back of my closet a couple of day’s before I intended to wear them. My husband would hide tie’s, ascot’s and various other accoutrement’s until he was ready to wear them. When we would see these new item’s we would both hit the roof, because we both knew that the other had spent a pretty penny on the item’s. Today, we no longer hide these purchases, instead we discuss the and make sure that the funds are there for the purchase. That’s much better than lying, sneaking and hiding.
According to a January 2014 survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education, a Denver-based non profit, financial infidelity is not uncommon. One in three people involved in this survey that said they co-mingled their finances, also said they either committed or experienced an act of financial deceit.
The clearest sign of possible financial infidelity is missing or misdirected documents. If your partner has bank statements, credit card bills or other important financial information sent to his or her office or other address instead of your home, deception could be at work.
Here are a few other sign’s to look for if you suspect that your spouse may be committing financial infidelity:
- You’re cut off from a joint credit card.
- You see no activity by your partner on a card you’ve normally both used.
- You receive statements in the mail from a financial company you’ve never heard of.
- Your partner intercepts bills and statements so you don’t see them.
- Cash goes missing or is unaccounted for.
- Sudden or unusual claims of financial hardship
- Spending addictions (mine was shoes)
- Money Moodiness (never really wanting to have a discussion about the finances)
Financial infidelity is real, I have been a culprit and a victim. Stop right now and have that money discussion, move that elephant out of the room.
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Your Money Make-Up Artist,
Contouring your pockets, lifting your bottomline and highlighting your future