Couples And Money: Pillow Talk With Big Daddy

Couples and money. See what this couple had to say about money management.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, my husband agreed to let me share some of our private money conversations, as long as I don’t go too far. Big Daddy is the nickname I have for my husband, but for those of you who don’t know, his name is Willliam. Now because of our busy schedules, most of our talking is done late at night. Get your mind out of the gutter, hence the title Pillow Talk. When we decided to write this blog post, it took many different directions. I wanted to vlog but he didn’t, so my blogging coach Javacia, suggested an interview style post. With his approval that is what we went with. So here are the musing of late night chatter between me and Big Daddy. I call it interview with a Vampire lol just kidding.

TBT: Do you remember when we were broke and could barely keep a roof over our heads?

BD: How could I forget? You won’t let me. Every time I get ready to spend money you always remind me of those lean years.

TBT. I remind you cause one of us has to have sense when it comes to the money.

BD: I do have sense girl quit playing. I am not going to do anything to drive us back to the poor house.

TBT: You better not, cause you will be on that drive by yourself, think it’s a game.

BD: Remember you said for richer or for poorer till death do us part.

TBT: Yeah I remember, so what color would you like to be buried in. You can always ride to the poor house in a hearse.

TBT: What would you advise couples who find themselves in the same situation?

BD: Well, I would tell them what I heard you say while we climbed out of our situation and that was, ” This won’t last forever, we have just got to stick with the plan.” (Y’all, I can’t believe he remembers that he doesn’t remember what I want from the store most of the time)

BD: A couple has to have a plan, but before they can begin to plan they must have a goal. Goal setting is important in finance. Our goal was to get out of debt, start saving money, stick to a budget and plan for legacy. I can remember sitting down with you trying to figure out where all the money was going. I won’t point fingers but what I will say is that both parties have to acknowledge their part in getting into the situation they are in.

TBT:  Yes, all of that is true. We both came from backgrounds that caused us to spend for different reasons. Mine was because I was used to having the best of everything and you well you weren’t. Both need to sit down and figure out what is important and what they want their financial life to look like.

TBT: If you had to advise a young couple on how to achieve what we have achieved what would you tell them.

BD: Girl you not sleepy yet? Ok I know you just want to see if I was paying attention all these years. Here are my tips

  1. Be open about your spending habits before you say I do. I think if we both had really known how the other one viewed and spent money we would have avoided some of our problems. Also, couples need to make each other aware of any debts they are bringing to the marriage. Don’t be afraid to tell the other person if you do or don’t know how to manage money.
  2. Be clear on who will pay what. If one earns significantly more than the other divide the bills accordingly. I remember we were in so deep that you wouldn’t let me touch any money until all of our living expenses were paid. Then we had to work on my debts and then if there was anything left we divided it. We did this until all of my debts were paid because you took the easy way out and filed bankruptcy.
  3. Set financial goals together. Know what you value that way you can spend or not spend accordingly. You and I value the same thing, family and leaving a legacy so it was a no-brainer on how to set our finances to do just that.
  4. Set a budget. I swear if I go one cent over budget I know you will be angry. It may take some time to figure out a budget that works for you but you have to keep at it until it works. Don’t give up!
  5. Make financial decisions together. If there is a purchase to be made, discuss it. I remember when we used to decide how much we were going to spend at the grocery store. You would have that darn list, all those sale papers, and coupons. I would hate going to the store with you, but it was fun watching you save on the grocery bill. I used to think it was dumb that we talked about every purchase, but when I look back it was one of the best things ever.

TBT: I think those are great tips Big Daddy. We both learned some very important lessons back then that have served us well over the years.

BD: Yeah we have girl now can I go to sleep?

TBT: Yeah boy go to sleep.

BD: Give me some lip and turn off that light so I can get some shut-eye old crazy girl.

Well there you have it, I always give my tips but on this Valentine’s Day, I let Big Daddy give his. I hope you couples out there enjoyed his rare appearance on the blog. Happy Valentine’s day from The Threadfords!

*Part of Financially Savvy Saturdays on brokeGIRLrich.*

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on Couples And Money: Pillow Talk With Big Daddy

  1. Heather @ Kraus House Mom
    February 14, 2018 at 10:25 am (10 months ago)

    My family was in debt after I got really sick and almost died and then had to stop working, my husband stayed home with the kids at the time. We have gotten ourselves back on track, but we never forget what we went through and how one illness can change it all.

    Reply
    • tracie45
      February 14, 2018 at 5:27 pm (10 months ago)

      I am so glad you recovered physically and financially, Heather! We never forgot what got us in our situation either and not to harp, but I try and keep it on the forefront of our minds so we can make sure it doesn’t happen again. Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Reply
  2. Gina Butler
    February 14, 2018 at 11:01 am (10 months ago)

    I love the seriousness and yet joking that went on during that conversation. Sounds like my husband and me. We have a budget we stick with that works for us.

    Reply
    • tracie45
      February 14, 2018 at 5:25 pm (10 months ago)

      Gina, it took us a minute but we were able to come up with a budget that works for us as well. Even though money is a serious subject we try and keep our conversations about it light. Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Reply
  3. LaCosta Gaston
    February 14, 2018 at 11:22 am (10 months ago)

    I LOVE IT!!! The fact that you asked him what color he wants to buried is so funny! I love this conversation between you and my big brother!

    Reply
    • tracie45
      February 14, 2018 at 5:21 pm (10 months ago)

      LaCosta, girl you know both of us are crazy. This was a really fun piece to write with him. Yeah, I have to make sure I put him away real nice lol, can’t half step with Big Daddy. Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Reply
  4. Ruth Epstein
    February 14, 2018 at 4:08 pm (10 months ago)

    Just love this post, it made me smile as I was discussing some of these items with my brother the other night as I am single and want him to know all. Thanks

    Reply
    • tracie45
      February 14, 2018 at 5:18 pm (10 months ago)

      I am glad it made you smile Ruth! Even better although you are single you are having the important money talks with someone. Thank you for reading and commenting!

      Reply
  5. Alicia
    February 14, 2018 at 4:54 pm (10 months ago)

    OMG! You two are so funny. I had to read this out loud to my husband when hear my guffaw over your pillow talk. Thankfully, my husband and I have had many money conversations and we are on the same page.

    Reply
    • tracie45
      February 14, 2018 at 5:16 pm (10 months ago)

      Thank you Alicia! I am glad that you both enjoyed the post and moreover that you are both on the same page! Thank you for reading and commenting!

      Reply
  6. Christina
    February 14, 2018 at 9:17 pm (10 months ago)

    I love that you guys talked about your goals together. I know that had to help keep you on track because you were both working toward the same goal!

    Reply
    • tracie45
      February 18, 2018 at 9:12 am (10 months ago)

      Christina, at first we hated talking about our goals because we were sort of embarrassed to share that intimate part of ourselves with each other. We had some laughs because we both thought some of each other’s goals were silly. Once we got over that part we were able to better understand what we needed to do and devise a plan on how to get there. Goal setting definitely has kept us on track all of these years. Thank you for reading and commenting!

      Reply
  7. Saidah Washington
    February 15, 2018 at 6:35 am (10 months ago)

    What an interesting interview. Couples definitely need to be educated about money and follow through with whatever plan they come up with.

    Reply
    • tracie45
      February 18, 2018 at 9:05 am (10 months ago)

      We are quite an interesting couple Saidah. Couples do need to be educated about money, long before they say I do. Planning and goal setting is essential in every area, especially finances. Thank you for reading and commenting!

      Reply
  8. Femme Frugality
    February 17, 2018 at 11:50 am (10 months ago)

    This made me laugh and is so sweet and real! Awesome that he remembers all that because I hear you–mine gets my birthday missed up with that of pro athletes. Can forget about what I want at the store!

    Reply
    • tracie45
      February 18, 2018 at 9:01 am (10 months ago)

      I am glad you enjoyed our piece together Femme! I plan to let him do a piece with me at least once a month. He told me late last year that I never include him in my “lil” blog. As for his memory, I think it is selective at times, but I would be highly upset if he forgot my birthday, as it is the same date as his mother. Husbands, what would we do without them?! Thank you for reading and commenting!

      Reply

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