In honor of Valentine’s Day, my husband agreed to let me share some of our private money conversations, as long as I don’t go too far. Big Daddy is the nickname I have for my husband, but for those of you who don’t know, his name is Willliam. Now because of our busy schedules, most of our talking is done late at night. Get your mind out of the gutter, hence the title Pillow Talk. When we decided to write this blog post, it took many different directions. I wanted to vlog but he didn’t, so my blogging coach Javacia, suggested an interview style post. With his approval that is what we went with. So here are the musing of late night chatter between me and Big Daddy. I call it interview with a Vampire lol just kidding.
TBT: Do you remember when we were broke and could barely keep a roof over our heads?
BD: How could I forget? You won’t let me. Every time I get ready to spend money you always remind me of those lean years.
TBT. I remind you cause one of us has to have sense when it comes to the money.
BD: I do have sense girl quit playing. I am not going to do anything to drive us back to the poor house.
TBT: You better not, cause you will be on that drive by yourself, think it’s a game.
BD: Remember you said for richer or for poorer till death do us part.
TBT: Yeah I remember, so what color would you like to be buried in. You can always ride to the poor house in a hearse.
TBT: What would you advise couples who find themselves in the same situation?
BD: Well, I would tell them what I heard you say while we climbed out of our situation and that was, ” This won’t last forever, we have just got to stick with the plan.” (Y’all, I can’t believe he remembers that he doesn’t remember what I want from the store most of the time)
BD: A couple has to have a plan, but before they can begin to plan they must have a goal. Goal setting is important in finance. Our goal was to get out of debt, start saving money, stick to a budget and plan for legacy. I can remember sitting down with you trying to figure out where all the money was going. I won’t point fingers but what I will say is that both parties have to acknowledge their part in getting into the situation they are in.
TBT: Yes, all of that is true. We both came from backgrounds that caused us to spend for different reasons. Mine was because I was used to having the best of everything and you well you weren’t. Both need to sit down and figure out what is important and what they want their financial life to look like.
TBT: If you had to advise a young couple on how to achieve what we have achieved what would you tell them.
BD: Girl you not sleepy yet? Ok I know you just want to see if I was paying attention all these years. Here are my tips
- Be open about your spending habits before you say I do. I think if we both had really known how the other one viewed and spent money we would have avoided some of our problems. Also, couples need to make each other aware of any debts they are bringing to the marriage. Don’t be afraid to tell the other person if you do or don’t know how to manage money.
- Be clear on who will pay what. If one earns significantly more than the other divide the bills accordingly. I remember we were in so deep that you wouldn’t let me touch any money until all of our living expenses were paid. Then we had to work on my debts and then if there was anything left we divided it. We did this until all of my debts were paid because you took the easy way out and filed bankruptcy.
- Set financial goals together. Know what you value that way you can spend or not spend accordingly. You and I value the same thing, family and leaving a legacy so it was a no-brainer on how to set our finances to do just that.
- Set a budget. I swear if I go one cent over budget I know you will be angry. It may take some time to figure out a budget that works for you but you have to keep at it until it works. Don’t give up!
- Make financial decisions together. If there is a purchase to be made, discuss it. I remember when we used to decide how much we were going to spend at the grocery store. You would have that darn list, all those sale papers, and coupons. I would hate going to the store with you, but it was fun watching you save on the grocery bill. I used to think it was dumb that we talked about every purchase, but when I look back it was one of the best things ever.
TBT: I think those are great tips Big Daddy. We both learned some very important lessons back then that have served us well over the years.
BD: Yeah we have girl now can I go to sleep?
TBT: Yeah boy go to sleep.
BD: Give me some lip and turn off that light so I can get some shut-eye old crazy girl.
Well there you have it, I always give my tips but on this Valentine’s Day, I let Big Daddy give his. I hope you couples out there enjoyed his rare appearance on the blog. Happy Valentine’s day from The Threadfords!
*Part of Financially Savvy Saturdays on brokeGIRLrich.*